1/23/2024 0 Comments Fear of growing up into adulthoodLeave people and places better than you found them, and your kids will take note and do the same. Show your kids what it means to give selflessly and joyfully by volunteering for a service project or with a community group. If you don’t cut corners, for example, they will know it’s not acceptable for them to either. Watch yourself in the little ethical choices that others might notice, because your kids will notice too. As the leaders of our homes, we can start by only speaking honest words – white lies will surface and slowly erode character. To help them lead a life of character and become dependable and accountable for their words and actions. If you notice that they are doing more themselves than your child does, you may be delaying your child’s independence.Īs parents, it is our responsibility to model the life we want our children to live. There is no magic “age of responsibility” or a proven guide as to when a child should be given specific freedoms, but a good rule of thumb is to observe other children the same age as yours. Just because giftedness is present in one aspect of a child’s life, don’t assume it pervades all areas. Some professional athletes and Hollywood starlets, for example, possess unimaginable talent, but still get caught in a public scandal. Intelligence is often used as a measurement of a child’s maturity, and as a result parents assume an intelligent child is ready for the world. We mistake intelligence, giftedness and influence for maturity Because we’re not the only influence on our kids, we must be the best influence.Ħ. Share how you felt when you faced a similar experience, what drove your actions, and the resulting lessons learned. (Avoid negative “lessons learned” having to do with smoking, alcohol, illegal drugs, etc.) Also, kids must prepare to encounter slip-ups and face the consequences of their decisions. Share with them the relevant mistakes you made when you were their age in a way that helps them learn to make good choices. We as adults must let them, but that doesn’t mean we can’t help them navigate these waters. Healthy teens are going to want to spread their wings and they’ll need to try things on their own. They have not been conditioned to face it.ĭiscover the timeless advice that the world’s great thinkers, billionaires, writers and businesspeople have to offer. When we rave too easily and disregard poor behavior, children eventually learn to cheat, exaggerate and lie and to avoid difficult reality. They begin to doubt the objectivity of their parents it feels good in the moment, but it’s not connected to reality. Kids eventually observe that Mom and Dad are the only ones who think they’re awesome when no one else is saying it. This “everyone gets a trophy” mentality might make our kids feel special, but research is now indicating this method has unintended consequences. Attend a little league baseball game and you’ll see that everyone is a winner. The self-esteem movement has been around since Baby Boomers were kids, but it took root in our school systems in the 1980s. Sooner or later, kids get used to someone rescuing them: “If I fail or fall short, an adult will smooth things over and remove any consequences for my misconduct.” When in reality, this isn’t even remotely close to how the world works, and therefore it disables our kids from becoming competent adults. It’s parenting for the short-term and it sorely misses the point of leadership-to equip our young people to do it without help. When we rescue too quickly and over-indulge our children with “assistance,” we remove the need for them to navigate hardships and solve problems on their own. Today’s generation of young people has not developed some of the life skills kids did 30 years ago because adults swoop in and take care of problems for them. If parents remove risk from children’s lives, we will likely experience high arrogance and low self-esteem in our growing leaders. Kids need to fall a few times to learn it’s normal teens likely need to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend to appreciate the emotional maturity that lasting relationships require. Psychologists in Europe have discovered that if a child doesn’t play outside and is never allowed to experience a skinned knee, they frequently have phobias as adults. It’s our job after all, but we have insulated them from healthy risk-taking behavior and it’s had an adverse effect. The “safety first” preoccupation enforces our fear of losing our kids, so we do everything we can to protect them. We live in a world that warns us of danger at every turn.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |